What is a Sigma male? Who are we? What defines us?
The most widely held view is that a Sigma Male is an outsider in the male hierarchy, who succeeds despite rejecting the hierarchy itself. A Sigma is the lone wolf, whose quiet, brooding personality is both mysterious and intriguing.
While many see the Sigma as a rebel who challenges and undermines Alpha Males, the real truth is that a Sigma is an introverted Alpha. Whereas an Alpha is easily recognisable as a dominant extrovert, it is not as clear that a Sigma is a dominant introvert. This is simply down to the misconception that all introverts are submissive. This stereotype leads many to confuse introversion with shyness and being passive. A Sigma is anything but. A Sigma is often quiet but never shy or intimidated. Quietness and solitude are choices, Sigmas are very assertive and will speak and make themselves heard when they need to.
Most proponents of the idea that Sigmas are the nemesis of Alphas are men who resent Alphas deeply, usually arising from bad experiences with them in the past. The Sigma appears to them to be the heroic counterpoint the Alpha. It gives them an archetype to aspire to, a role model that can beat the Alpha at his own game, outsmart him and humiliate him on his own turf. The reality is that Sigmas and Alphas are two sides of the same coin, dominant personalities on opposite ends of the introversion/extroversion spectrum. Sigmas and Alphas often mix well, mutual, if guarded, respect is the norm and recognising that one does not pose a threat to the other. A true Sigma is absolutely introspective and as a result does not concern himself with the petty power displays. He feels, quite rightly, that such things are beneath him. Their attitude to this is best summed up by the African proverb, “A lion does not turn around when a small dog barks”.
Sigmas are confident, self-assured and extremely comfortable in their own skin. A Sigma Male has a deep understanding of how his mind and personality works. He knows his learning style and personality type, their strengths and their inherent weaknesses. It is this understanding that allows a Sigma to turn his weaknesses into strengths. Many men daydream and fantasise, they are easily dismissed as Walter Mitty characters. It’s the Sigma who can utilise those daydreams as creative visualisation and turn it into a powerful tool. The Sigma can see what he wants and what he admires. He can see it so clearly, in such focus, that he can see what he needs to do to make it real. It is real in his mind before he ever takes action to make it happen. Intense and unrelenting focus like this is characteristic of a Sigma. Where an Alpha is adept at a broad range of skills, often biased towards physical and social skills, Sigmas will excel in a few select areas. Their natural focus and mental acuity leads them to academic and cerebral pursuits but they are equally capable of applying their skills to other areas. It’s common for Sigmas reach elite levels in sport, particularly individual sports. The idea of a Sigma Male gained a lot of attention in the Game community and naturally much of its focus was on how the Sigma interacted with women. This has led to the idea of a Sigma as simply a strategy to attract women. A man might take an Alpha strategy with one girl but try a Sigma strategy with another. This is a waste of a powerful concept as a throwaway strategy in a relatively small part of your life. A Sigma is a personality, something that touches every facet of your life. Its potential to give you the life you want is unlimited. It isn’t something that should be used like a chat up line. To derive real benefit it has to be developed, worked on and lived every day. A Sigma understands that success with women is a consequence of your lifestyle, not what drives your lifestyle.
A Sigma is completely independent, self-sufficient and self-reliant. They live their lives exactly as they please. They care nothing for what the masses think of them. A wolf does not concern himself with the opinions of sheep. This is the most important trait of a Sigma.
They are extremely capable, they have had to succeed in a world where success is aligned with the very things that are a Sigma’s polar opposite. Think way it means to succeed in a world where you put yourself totally outside social and power structures. Whatever you do, you must do alone and do it better than those competing with you who have strong support networks. A Sigma must be extremely capable at what he does, he must be smarter, fitter, more aware, more flexible, more efficient, more committed than those around him.
Many INTJ/Ps identify as a Sigma. The introspective, thoughtful aspects of their personality blend well with the Sigma mentality. INTJ/Ps and similiar personality types are by their nature drawn to the Sigma ideal. They are far more likely to take the necessary action to become a Sigma Male.
Sigmas are not born, they are made. They are shaped from years of adversity and physical and mental trial. This accounts for why there are few very young Sigmas. Most Sigmas only come into their own in their late twenties. A man can naturally be an Alpha from birth. An Alpha’s strength lies in his social skills, natural charm and force of personality. These are often with him from childhood and develop stronger in more stable and privilieged backgrounds. For the Sigma it is very different. His strengths, independence, resilience and toughness are only acquired in overcoming hardship and surviving difficult backgrounds. The converse can be true in both cases, but these are rare exceptions. Sigma Males are easy to aspire to and hold a certain allure for those who feel disconnected from mainstream society. The internet is full of men who claim they are Sigmas, just as there are many who claim they are Alphas. No one ever claims to be a beta, gamma or omega. Logically these categories must comprise the majority of men and yet so few of them admit to who they are.
True Sigmas are very rare. They are much rarer than Alphas because it is much more arduous to become one. You must not only master operating in mainstream society as an Alpha does, you must also learn to work outside it, alone, with no resources. This is a common source of confusion regarding Sigmas. They do not live outside society but rather reject its inherent power structures. A Sigma is not an outcast and so has to master the same social skills as an Alpha. A Sigma is an outsider but has the social skills to fit into whatever company he finds himself in, at least temporarily. A recurring theme with Sigmas is that they are reluctant to engage socially but are very capable when required to do so.
A Sigma is a leader when necessary but prefers to stay out of the limelight. A Sigma must be financially independent and secure. There is a strong link between Sigmas and entrepreneurship but many Sigmas are also found at the top levels of many specialist jobs. Their natural cognitive abilities often leads them to the heights of certain fields in science, business and academia.
They are experts in non verbal communication. They can read a room as soon as they step into it, quickly deducing relationships, leaders and the overall temperament of an environment. A Sigma has physical presence. He is functionally fit. He can run, swim, box, lift weights.
The first step to becoming a Sigma is to accept who you are and where you are right now. Accept that Sigma is something you aspire to. It doesn’t matter what you are right now if you are willing to put yourself through what it takes to become a Sigma.
The real focus of The Sigma Program is not what is a Sigma Male, but how to become a Sigma Male. Now it’s time to start putting some work in.
This is a quick and dirty guide to getting started. I’ve broken it down to a number of essential areas that every Sigma needs to be adept in. In many cases these overlap and complement each other.
The most important thing to take from this article is that you need to start taking action now. You can talk, debate and plan all you want, you can argue over the finer points of the Sigma male personality, but none of it means a thing until you start taking action.
It doesn’t matter where you are now. It doesn’t matter if you’re poor, depressed, fat or lonely. All that matters is that you begin.
To achieve greatness, start where you are, use what you have, do what you can
To kickstart you into action, at the end of each section I’ve added a task. Each task is something small, something you can do today. Each is the first step in a long journey as a Sigma.
I’ve also included a reading list for each area. I’m always pushing you to read. While the rest of the world lets TV and the internet stagnate their minds and become slaves to someone else’s system, a Sigma reads because a Sigma knows knowledge is freedom. If you’re willing to open a book you have the knowledge and secrets of every man and every civilisation at your fingertips.
Independence from society and its obligations and constraints is the dominant Sigma Male characteristic. All other aspects of the Sigma Male personality flows this desire to be free. Most men are happy to sell their lives to a corporation for a fixed salary and an average life.
A Sigma needs his own resources and not be dependent on others for his future and welfare. Not every Sigma will be an entrepreneur or own his own business, but every Sigma will step outside the ordinary and take risks the grey average man won’t to be free.
Begin thinking with the Sigma mentality. Develop your own sources of income. Start your own business. Work smart not hard.
Task: Make $10 outside your normal income stream. It could be anything, start your own website, get a part time job, do some freelance work on Fiverr. Once you realise you are not a slave to your job, you will begin to develop a real Sigma mentality.
Develop Situational Awareness
A Sigma can is always aware of his environment, be it a street corner or a boardroom. He can read people, their intentions and emotions, situations, whether they are about to go bad or present him an opportunity.
Take out the headphones and put away the phone. Become aware of your surroundings. Watch people as they interact. Pay attention to body language. The more you practice, the more you will see. Your intuition is a powerful tool and is honed by using it again and again. Have you ever known something bad was about to happen and taken evasive action subconsicously? That is your mind using your experiences, perception and millions of years of evolution to protect you. Sigmas are natural thinkers and observers and will always have a highly developed situational awareness, which gives them the edge they need to succeed outside of mainstream society.
Task: Get a coffee and people watch for an hour. Who looks out of place? Who looks unaware? Who looks aware? Did you see anything happen that you could have predicted? Did anything unexpected happen? Think about what you observed and what you can learn from what you saw.
Physical training is an absolute necessary for all Sigmas. A Sigma always strives to perfect himself. It is often the first real self development a Sigma will really take seriously.
Physical exercise is as basic a part of a Sigma’s routine as brushing his teeth. A Sigma should always partake in weight training and some cardio each week to maintain and perfect his body. It’s not easy. No matter how much money you have, you can’t buy a powerful, strong body unless you pay for it in sweat and effort.
It garners respect from other people and shows you have the discipline and drive to achieve something difficult and admirable. Many men make excuses like “I’m not into bodybuilding”, “Weights are for jocks”, “I haven’t time to run” or “I don’t want to get big”.
All these excuses are bullshit. Simple as that. Weight training isn’t bodybuilding. Bodybuilding is a sport. It requires a lot more than just weights. The training every man should be required to do is to get into great shape, that can be maintained year round. If you want to continue on to bodybuilding, that’s great but it’s not required. Being in shape will give you physical presence and get you noticed. It gives you an aura of confidence that no amount of talking or showing off can deliver.
You aren’t going to get big by accident. In fact you will be able to pick exactly what shape and type of body you want, whether its big or aesthetic or anything in between. A Sigma understands the benefits, both physical and mental, of high testosterone. Vitality, increased libido, drive and energy.
A 20 minute intense run, two or three times a week, is more than enough to burn fat and strengthen the cardiovascular system. But you don’t have time for that? How long do you spend on Facebook each week? Thought so. Stop living vicariously through others, log out, throw on your tracksuit, put your music on loud and hit the pavement. You’ll end up addicted to the runner’s high after a tough intense run.
Learn about training programs, diet and supplements. Ask questions, try different things, until you find what works for you and your lifestyle.
Task: Get a trial pass to a gym, meet a trainer and do a basic weights session. Go for a slow 10 minute jog.
Learn to dress well
A Sigma can and will always present himself well. When he walks into a room, he is noticed. Despite often being an outsider, a Sigma is comfortable in any environment. Whether its a black tie event or a dive bar, his outfit not only looks good, but fits in perfectly with the ambience. Your appearance is important and a Sigma will project his personality through his.
Part of the frugal and efficient mindset of a Sigma is knowing how to dress well on a budget. Develop a spartan, well matched wardrobe. Perfect your grooming. It’s the small details that will put you above the average man. Build a Dopp kit with everything you need to maintain your appearance.
Task: Get a hot towel shave at a traditional barbers.
Communication and social skills
Sigmas are masters of communication and social skills, despite their image as dark outsiders. They are adept in any social situation, their quietness and withdrawal from society at times is entirely of their own choosing.
A Sigma will be able to speak a number of languages, not only for the intellectual challenge but also to be able to operate in a much wider range of countries and cultures.
A Sigma will also understand etiquette, not just traditional etiquette but all types, from what is expected of you on social media to how to conduct yourself in different cultures.
Task: Download Duolingo and do a 10 minute lesson.
Get to know yourself
A Sigma has a deep understanding of his mind and personality. He understands his inherent strengths and weakness. Learn about your personality type and your learning style. Succeeding, especially as an outsider, means using every situation to your advantage. To do that, you must understand who you are and how to make things work for you.
Modern life has a 24/7 supply of tension and stress delivered via technology. It can be very hard to switch off and give yourself the mental rest you need. This is particularly true for the active Sigma mind, whose introverted nature needs quiet pensive time to recharge.
Meditation is often provides a Sigma the opportunity to bring his mind into focus. Practicing meditation and mindfulness daily allows you to control your mind and emotions. Find time to switch off from the world and rest your most valuable asset, your mind.
Task: Do a 10 minute session on Headspace
Become a Master
A Sigma is always acquiring new skills and knowledge and will become a master in one or more areas. The actual subjects are extremely varied, they can be anything from academics to individual sports, but the common thread is the pursuit of perfection and advancement of the field.
You will find your niche in life naturally. In quiet moments, where does your mind wander to? Running your own business, achieving a black belt or earning a PhD?
A Sigma will soak up knowledge all around him. He will travel, read and discuss so he can understand more of the world around him. Unlike much of the world now, he holds no respect for ignorance.
The Internet gives you access to information and people all over the world. You do not need universities to learn or exclusive networks to connect with those who can help you. There are enormous resources available to those willing to put in some work. MIT publishes huge amounts of its course materials through its OCW program. The Open University in the UK does the same with OpenLearn. Many universities offer MOOW programs, putting their course materials online.
Travel has never been cheaper or more accessible. Forums online allow you to connect with anyone who shares your interests anywhere in the world. Start taking advantage of these and begin work on your masterpiece, whatever it may be.
Task: Watch a lecture on MIT OCW